


Indulgences: A Love and Happiness Interlude

by lyricalsoul



Series: Love and Happiness [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Established Relationship, Love and Happiness, M/M, Mycroft cooks, REALLY... ALLOW FOR POETIC LICENSE HERE, author edits to add aggressive notes to story, celebrity crushes, magical cookery times, might be crackish, mystrade, suspension of reality required here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 07:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricalsoul/pseuds/lyricalsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The road to love and happiness lands our boys in the kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indulgences: A Love and Happiness Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> This is all talk. It wasn't supposed to be, but my wounded wing gave out before I could add the action. Hope it works for you. If not, have mercy and don't hold it against me. 
> 
> Thanks to Wretched for the read-aloud in a lousy british accent. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While there shouldn't be anything offensive in this bit, other than the overuse of decadent ingredients, please do not assume that I have any ill feelings toward fictional characters or their fictional rank. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and commenting, and for following this series. I treasure each comment and kudos that comes my way.

“Rise and shine, Mastermind!”

“Must you be so loud so early in the morning, Gregory? You are worse than that nest of sparrows that took up residence outside my room at university.”

“Yeah, cheers. Flattery will get you everywhere. Come on… you promised I could collect a portion of my winnings today.”

“I did no such thing. And I maintain that the dice were crooked.”

“Maintain away, but you lost. And I’m a copper, upstanding, and known for playing it straight.”

“With crooked dice.”

“I’m aces at shooting craps. Grampy started teaching me when I was five. You know… just in case I couldn’t get a job, I’d have something to fall back on.”

“Heartwarming, to say the least.”

“That sarcasm thing you do really revs up when you’re in the wrong.  Get up, and come to the kitchen, Mycroft. Stop dawdling.”

“I have never dawdled in my life.”

“The other morning, you were ‘behind schedule’ because you dawdled me with your tongue.”

“How crass. And that’s not a verb to be used in that sense.”

“Oh, are we playing ‘headmaster and student’ today?”

“We agreed not to mention that again.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Mycroft. You looked adorable in those knee socks. Kitchen. Five minutes.”

 

***

“Why am I doing this?”

“Because you love me?”

“I do… but I meant why I am doing this to these eggs?”

“You’ve never had eggy bread?”

“Many times, though it was called pain perdu, and the rich, baked slices of brioche that Jean-Paul served are nothing like what you’ve proposed.”

“…”

“I am simply being honest. I have never made it. Nor do I have any desire to do so. For the record, of course.”

“Duly noted. Just keep whisking.”

“I have been whisking for four minutes. My arms are growing weary.”

“Light weight. Whinging is not part of the deal.”

“Mrs. Landingham could have done this in her sleep. Why did you not call her? She’s right out in the garden, taking tea.”

“We had a bet. You lost. This is part of my winnings, that you spend the morning helping me make my special eggy bread.”

“Rigged dice. Shameful.”

“Not rigged, just lucky. Add the cream while you whisk.”

“How am I to do that with a mere two hands?”

“He can manage eighteen countries on Twitter while cleaning his teeth, but he can’t pour cream while whisking.”

“Fine. This is very rich.”

“Yes, but it’s not for every day. Keep whisking… now the vanilla. Just a few splashes. And a bit of cinnamon.”

“I am almost certain there are measuring spoons in one of the drawers.”

“It’s not physics. And Nigella said eyeballing was fine.”

“Ah… now the truth is revealed. The object of your not-so-secret affections provided the impetus for this recipe. Sad.”

“You’re one to talk. I know all about your Netflix crush. Just how many times are you going to watch Luther, hm?”

“Mr. Elba is a talented actor, and a very nice man. I am merely showing my appreciation for his fine body of work.”

“Fine body, more like. But then, he’s not here, making you breakfast, is he?”

 “Of course, he’s not a patch on you. Now what?”

“Pour some of that cereal in the bag, then use the meat tenderiser to crush it.”

“What is this….? Gregory, there are fourteen grams of sugar per half cup of this… stuff.”

“Less judging, more pouring.”

“This can’t be good for anyone.”

“Mycroft.”

“I am merely pointing out the unhealthy-“

“We’ve discussed this. Pour the cereal and crush it.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“If I am permitted a question…?”

“One.”

“What is he the captain of? His stripes do not reflect-“

“He’s not even real, so it doesn’t matter.”

“I am aware of that. However, given that the entire concept of this… food – and I use the term loosely - is built on this character’s name, it would be incumbent on the company to present an accurate depiction of what they are purporting him to be. He’s a captain wearing stripes that do not befit his rank.”

“Mycroft.”

“What country does he come from?”

“His last name is Crunch… you tell me.”

“You are humouring me.”

“Yeah, I am. Horatio J. Crunch is a fictional character. Let it be.”

“Horatio? How quaint.”

“Says the man named Mycroft.”

“Inaccuracies, no matter how small, should be addressed and corrected.”

 “You should ring them up as soon as you get to work. Put the fear of god in them.”

“You are mocking me. My concerns are legitimate.”

“If he was a real person. Which he is not. I’ll wager you were kid pointing out all the inaccuracies in Doctor Who, and going about ruining the cartoons.”

“That was more Sherlock’s forte. I was more heavily invested in correcting the inaccuracies in textbooks.”

“Of course you were. All crushed?”

“In more ways than you can possibly imagine.”

“It’s all just one great big metaphor for you, isn’t it? Put it in that dish there.”

“I’m not doing the tidying up.”

“You’re worse than Sherlock.”

“Insults will get you nowhere. Now what?”

“Dip the bread in the egg for a few seconds, then-“

“Define ‘a few’.”

“Bloody hell, Mycroft! Three seconds on each side.”

“In spite of your attempts to domesticate me, I remain a Holmes. Precision is important.”

“I wouldn’t go bragging on that. Now take it out of the egg mix, and press the bread into the crumbs.”

“You could have suggested gloves.”

“Could have done. Press… Now turn it over, and do the other side.”

“Highly unorthodox.”

“Right. Set it on the rack and do another, while I heat this nob of butter.”

“I will need new trousers after this meal. Butter, sugar, cream, rashers of bacon… “

“You can eat those gross looking grains for the rest of the week.”

“Quinoa.”

“Looks like pinworms. Put the bread in the pan.”

“Are you sure the pan isn’t too hot? It’s smoking.”

“That’s a good sign. Put the bread… don’t throw it in there, you tosser… lay it down or you’ll splash the hot butter on us. Now the next one…. that’s good. Look at you… the British Government cooking french toast.”

“Why are you putting that brick on them?”

“To weight them down, get a bit of the moisture out. Soggy eggy bread is a no.”

“An aluminium-covered brick is unorthodox, to say the least.”

“I don’t make the rules; I just enforce them. The weight helps it caramelise.”

“You’re a regular Gordon Ramsey, aren’t you?”

“Without the swearing. Can you warm the syrup, please?”

“Gregory… this is overindulgent. We shall most certainly lapse into a sugar coma at the end of the meal.”

“We can work it off when we’re done.”

“I have work, and you are to supervise the painting of your ah, man cave. Are they burning?”

 “No… just ready to be flipped. You can get the other slices ready for cooking.”

“I was hoping not to repeat that experience. You dip and crumb, I’ll cook.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you’re asking am I able to use a spatula to turn two slices of bread in a pan, we shall have a serious discussion about your faith in me. While the constraints of my job do not allow for much leisurely time, I’m certain the science of cooking won’t befuddle me all that much.”

“I hope not. It would be embarrassing for a proper genius like you to have his french toast land on the worktop because you don’t know how to use a spatula.”

“Heaven forfend.”

“Well, at any rate, I appreciate you moving your schedule around for me.”

“Of course, you are aware that this is an anomaly…?”

“You’ll want to take the bricks off and flip them now.”

“Yes. That is to say, I cannot make a habit of skipping out of work to indulge your whims.”

“Got it. No whims indulged when there’s work to do. Flip the other ones.”

“Gregory…”

“Hmm… need plates. Syrup. Bacon. Fruit. And a tray, so I can eat in bed. You could join me, or go on to work. Your choice.”

“I’ve upset you.”

“Only if you’re going to burn our breakfast. They’re done. Put them on the plates.”

“Gregory.”

“It’s Sunday, Mycroft. I didn’t expect to see you today, but here you are. Since you are here, I was of a mind to enjoy a bit of breakfast with you. I’m a big boy, and have eaten plenty of meals on my own, so if you have to go, say so, and then go. No need for melodrama, or long, flowery speeches.”

“I, well… I must admit I am baffled as to how the morning has taken such turn.”

“You did it. You do that all the time. You’re so resistant to change, you try to stall me at almost every turn. I don’t want to change you, Mycroft… I just want to fit into your life at level that you’re comfortable with. You offered that to me, on the first night I stayed over, remember?”

“Of course. And I do want you here with me. The intensity of my need for you knocks me off balance, and I instinctively buck against that.”

“The big fish always fight the hardest when they’re caught. I know.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“No, but you’ve got me. Here… taste this.”

“I can wait for the others to be do-umph!”

“Chew.”

“Oh. That is… I stand corrected.”

“Delicious, isn’t it?”

“Delectable, more like. Not as sweet as I assumed it would be. I am more than willing to eat this in bed as you proposed.”

“So you can sink more easily into your coma when you’re done, yeah?”

“No… I… well, it is a well-guarded secret that good food causes intense feelings in me. I’d like you nearby when those feelings occur.”

“Strangest way to say you get all horny when you eat something good.”

“When you say it, it sounds sordid.”

“Then my work here is done. Grab some silverware, that champagne from that bucket, and come on. I’m starved.”

“Ah, there’s champagne as well? This is turning into a fine morning, indeed. I should never have doubted you.”

“No, but you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t. Challenging, but worth it.”

“I’ll get there.”

“You will, my big fish.”

“I have mentioned that I do not like nicknames?”

“Over and over. Should stop banging your head against that wall.”

“This is a learning experience, most assuredly.”

“The painters will be here in two hours, so if we’re going to eat, and indulge your intense feelings, we’d better get started.”

“A definite way with words.”

“I’m no Idris Elba, but I’ll bet he can’t handle a Holmes.”

“Hm. Probably not a Lestrade, either. Thank you, Gregory.”

“My pleasure.”

***

“Sir… I have Ms. Nooyi on the line, as requested.”

“Thank you, Anthea. I’ll be with her in just a moment.”

 

fin

**Author's Note:**

> The recipe for Cap'n Crunch French Toast can be found on the web. The version with vanilla bean is absolutely delicious. 
> 
> There is no Cap'n Crunch in the shops in the UK, but pretend there is. Or skip this one.  
> (2/2015 Edited to add:I KNOW THIS AND TOOK POETIC LICENSE. EITHER SKIP IT IF THAT BUGS YOU OR JUST GO WITH THE BLOODY FLOW. DON'T COMMENT TELLING ME THAT IT DOESN'T EXIST IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO READ THE NOTES. DAMN IT.)
> 
> Mycroft's argument about the Cap'n's stripes happened in real life about a month ago. 
> 
> Ms. Nooyi is the head of Pepsico, which owns Quaker, which makes Cap'n Crunch. 
> 
> The bet: Greg bet Mycroft that he could roll dice and not crap out for twelve turns. He won. 
> 
> I have a crush on Nigella and Idris Elba.


End file.
